Wondering how to build a great relationship with your nanny? 

Many parents realize they could use some much-needed assistance after attempting to balance their professional, social, and family lives all on their own. Nannies come in, fill in the gaps, and help with childcare, leaving parents room to breathe a little deeper. While nannies seem to take on this important role with ease, it’s essential to remember that this relationship should be nurtured like any other.

There is a huge difference between parents who put in the work to have a great relationship with their nanny, and those who treat them simply as an employee. Your nanny will be in your household, around your children, and become a part of your family’s life for (hopefully) years to come. Nurturing your relationship with them is crucial for building a long-lasting, trustworthy, and great relationship. 

Here are some tips to help you build a great relationship with your nanny. 

Show Your Nanny You Trust Them 

Considering you did your due diligence by going through all the necessary steps of responsibly hiring a nanny (which includes working with an agency that performed background and reference checks, verified first aid training, and made sure your nanny has relevant experience that aligns with your family’s needs), you hired your nanny because you trust them. You believe your nanny will create a positive, caring, and safe environment for your children to thrive in.  

With this being said, it’s essential to show your nanny that you trust them. 

Nannies find it hard to work alongside parents who micromanage and constantly hover around them. It makes nannies feel as though they’re walking on eggshells and always on the verge of making a mistake in the parent’s eyes. Although you always have a right to know what your nanny and children are up to throughout the day, reflecting on when you may be overstepping will tremendously help you and your nanny’s relationship. 

Show your nanny that you trust and value their expertise by: 

• Giving them and your children plenty of space. Making sure to avoid hovering around or checking in constantly throughout the day.

• Respecting their professional opinion when it comes to redirection, boundaries, and the wellbeing of your children. 

• Refraining from micromanaging their days and activities. Being mindful of allowing your nanny and children the freedom to get in their own grooves and find what daily routine works best for them.  

Have Consistent and Respectful Communication 

Good communication is the foundation of any great relationship, and it’s no different for parent-nanny relationships. Parents and nannies must communicate on all aspects of a child’s life, such as developmental milestones, behavior, education, schedules, activities, etc. Knowing this, you can see how important communication is for keeping everyone in the loop. You and your nanny must feel like you can bring up any concern and know it will be met with respect from the other. 

IDEA: Monthly Check-ins

Whether you schedule them in or allow them to happen naturally, it’s a good idea to have monthly check-ins with your nanny. Prioritizing these check-ins will help you resolve any misunderstandings and concerns before they turn into bigger issues. Even if you have nothing but wonderful things to say about your nanny’s performance, sharing those will only help your nanny to know that they’re doing a great job in your eyes. 

Treat Your Nanny Like a Professional 

When families are new to nanny life, they may treat their nanny more like a casual babysitter. This is not a way to build a sustainable relationship with your nanny. To build a great relationship, treat your nanny like the professional they are. 

This can look like:

Paying them on time.

Every worker deserves a stable and steady income. Having a system set up to pay your nanny consistently on time every week is crucial. We highly recommend setting up a payroll system to avoid any possible blips or awkward conversations that may need to be had if you forget to pay your nanny. There’s nothing worse than a nanny feeling like they need to remind their employer to pay them each week.  

Respect Your Nannies Boundaries 

Boundaries create a household filled with balance and unspoken respect between nannies and families. Boundaries help everyone involved feel they can consistently know what to expect from the other, leading to long-term trust and fulfillment between both parties. 

You can show your nanny you respect their boundaries by:

• Relieving them of their duties at the correct time.

• Paying them on time. 

• Respecting their privacy.

• Backing them up in front of your child when they try to enforce a rule.

• Not consistently adding on household tasks and chores that were not outlined in the original contract. 

• Backing them up in front of your children when they’re trying to enforce a rule. 

Show Your Appreciation 

Is your nanny always going above and beyond? Are you impressed by their ability to consistently connect and be present with your children? Tell them! Words go a long way when it comes to improving confidence and overall feeling like your nanny’s hard work is being noticed. We all could use a confidence boost from time to time. You could also show appreciation to your nanny around holidays or birthdays by giving them a card, gifts, holiday bonus, extra time off, or even a heartfelt letter! 

TIP: Get your children involved by encouraging them to make handmade gifts for their nanny.

Take Care of Your Nanny 

Although your nanny is technically the caregiver in the arrangement, making an effort to make sure your nanny is well cared for will create a healthy work environment she is grateful to come to every day. 

This can look like: 

• Having their favorite foods in the house for them to eat throughout the day.

• Making sure they get a break within the day, whether that’s when the baby sleeps or when the children are at school.

• Caring about their mental and physical needs by giving ample sick days and PTO.